Nhớ Nguồn

One thing I've learned as a teacher: it can often be a thankless job. You could put your heart and soul into your work, and your students would hardly notice anything. Sometimes, a student says thank you. Those times are few and far in between, and you learn to treasure those moments, but they can't be relied on for encouragement. Instead, a teacher has to learn at some point in his or her career that teaching is its own reward. You have to love what you do and care only about the people you help, because a teacher's success is measured only by the success of others. 90% of good teaching happens when nobody is watching. That's one thing that Vietnam seems to get right. Every year, on November 20th, the country celebrates National Teacher Day. Instead of studying, the students spend the day appreciating their teachers by giving them flowers, cards, and other gifts. It is a yearly reminder of how important teachers are to Vietnam and its people. I've had the gre...

Death, freedom, isolation, meaninglessness. Choices, mistakes, realizations, consequences. Living, longing, loving, losing. Praxis, conflict, reflection, transcendence. The beast has four heads. The Road Not Taken Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. by R...

It's hard to get this thought out of my mind: having students must be what having children is like. Smiling with them. Smiling for them. Worrying about them. Worrying for them. Crying with them. Crying for them. But what happens when you have to say goodbye? For most parents, there comes a time when you must say goodbye, but at least there remains a peace of mind knowing that the last goodbye is further still. For a tragic few, even that small ounce of peace is shattered. For the teacher, the experience appears to be different. Spending so much time with your students, you form relationships with them, see the people they are, and shape the person they will become. Perhaps without intending to, some students "grow on you," and you find yourself pouring your heart and soul into them. And yet, for all your work, for all your sacrifice, there always remains the looming departure when both parties go their separate ways. The roller coaster ride that is ...

To my family back home: it's a weird feeling when you reflect on the fact that you just sought out and bought food from a specialty AMERICAN supermarket.  UPDATE (10/24/14): I have officially eaten 3 lbs. 8 oz. worth of dried fruits and nuts by myself. I am proud and sickened at the same time. There should be a word for that feeling.

A recent realization of mine: In the past few months, three of my friends from back home messaged me on various social network sites to ask about what I was doing and how I was. I promptly replied to all three, not just answering their questions, but also asking some of my own. So far, not a single person has responded. Earlier this year, I tutored the daughter of a principal for one of the primary schools we teach at. She knew me for all of a month, then left to study in America. I gave her my email address and wished her luck. We have been emailing each other at least once a month every month since April. Unexpectedly, Vietnam is teaching me about yet another thing: friendship.                                        

"Người Việt sống ở Mỹ."  Perhaps I've finally earned my place; no longer are we could-have-beens. The sensibilities and selflessness of the Vietnamese, the opportunities and open mind of the American, guide me.

It Couldn't Be Done BY  EDGAR ALBERT GUEST Somebody said that it couldn't be done       But he with a chuckle replied That “maybe it couldn't,” but he would be one       Who wouldn't say so till he’d tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin       On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing       That couldn't be done, and he did it! Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;       At least no one ever has done it;” But he took off his coat and he took off his hat       And the first thing we knew he’d begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,       Without any doubting or quiddit, He started to sing as he tackled the thing   ...

Asian-American; a word with many meanings. Freedom . I believe that the world is open to me and that as long as I have the determination, I can seek and glimpse its infinite glory. There are no closed doors to me, only the ones that I put in front of myself. The sky is the limit and I've got a jetpack. Justice . I believe in an all encompassing sense of what it right in the world. I don't mean to push these on to other people, but I believe that I should be treated fairly. If I do something wrong, tell me what I did wrong and how I can fix it so I don't make the same mistake again. If I make you angry, tell me what I said or did so that I make the right decisions in the future. But more than anything, don't presume to force your beliefs on me and expect me to simply accept them without a say of my own. Conviction . I thought myself a lazy person before, and in truth I probably was, but even now, when I'm working more and harder than ever, I still ...

I'm not a "yes-man," I'm a masochist.

With summer almost over, I've now finished another four classes. Two of them I won't see again, one starts again next week, and the last one is currently studying with me. This is my currently studying class. It's weird, even after working for my company for more than a year now, this was the first class I ever taught from one course to the next. These kids are an insanely clever, if rambunctious, bunch of kids.  This is one of my summer classes. It's weird that I wasn't very excited to teach them in the beginning, but our relationship grew much stronger after the midway point of the course and, in the end, I was sad to see them go. Another very smart class. That kid in the blue shirt had sharp wit and a good sense of humor. In other news, I've started running again! I've been a bit zealous lately, and as a result, I'm now signed up for not one, but two races! At the end of August, I'll run in Da Nang, and at the end of this year, just...

You were absolutely right, man. What we have now, it is a family, and it's one that I will be sad to lose. I remember the time, almost one year ago, when I was the only teacher at our center along with two TAs. After class one day, I looked at our empty TSC. There were no toys or papers strewn across the table, no names on the lockers, or hardly any books on the shelves. I thought to myself, "I wonder what it will be like when this place isn't so quiet anymore, when the lights will be turned on and the room will be filled with the buzz of activity. I could never have imagined what I would be given. Yes, there have been ups and downs, but the experience I have had with all of you is unlike any other that I have ever had. It is with a heavy heart that I admit our joy is only temporary. Like you, I want this family, too, but our great misfortune is that we were destined to lose each other right from the beginning; it is the nature of our industry. The clock started counting...

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” Malcolm S. Forbes Tonight, I've either upheld my Eagle Scout rank with honor, or made the biggest mistake in my English teaching career. 

Some of the teachers, myself included, have asked our students, "If you could have superpowers, what would you want?" Of course I'd love to be able to teleport and control the very fabric of space and time, but there are other, more practical powers that I'd also like to have. One such power I'd love to have is the intellectual capacity to absorb and comprehend all that is around me. I'm talking about Sherlockian powers of deduction, where I could notice every little thing about a person and accurately guess everything about them. That would really come in handy right about now. I can't believe that even after a year, I'm still experiencing jarring culture shocks. This one's got to be the most upsetting, too, mostly because it involves family. The ball's in my court now, though, and what happens next could really define my eventual departure from Vietnam. Walking on eggshells now...

There was a time when I questioned the impact of teaching English. This was when many of my friends had worked or currently were working for NGOs and other small development organizations around the world. In a bit of snobbery, I didn't think teaching English could be that meaningful, and although I was partly right, I've recently realized that the work my friends did probably wasn't any more meaningful. I don't mean to say that they didn't make positive changes for the world, or that the people they helped were insignificant. I mean to say that the work they did probably had little impact on the macro-level problems that those people were victims of. I'm talking about rampant poverty, institutionalized corruption, wide-spread hunger, and a whole slew of other issues. I applaud their good intentions, but good intentions alone never solved the world's problems. If you want to read more about my rant, I suggest this article . I know now that the Englis...

It's an odd moment when you realize you've gleaned profound wisdom from a man who makes sushi. Regardless, I've come to accept these word. Four years, now, I've been away from home, and there will be many more years until I return. I know that my family loves me, and I know that if I was so inclined, my return would be as welcome as the father who receives his prodigal son. But I know that this is not my fate. I have chosen, and I will do everything that I can to walk my path and achieve that which I set out to do. The true sadness is that is that I am alone in these pursuits. It isn't enough to simply sacrifice oneself to achieve great things. Sometimes, other sacrifices must be made. Another wise person once wrote to me, “I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it.” I'm still traveling.

Before I write one of my usual updates, I'd like to share the work of my students. I'm currently teaching a group 4th to 7th graders who have now reached a fairly high level of competency in English. By way of exhibiting their work, I've started a blog for them so that others can see the kind of progress their making. So far, they've researched important people in history and have written short biographies for them. Later this week, I will put up their recent project to design and describe their own fantasy character. If you, my faithful readers, have got the time, I know it would mean a lot to them if you took a look at what they've done and left some words of encouragement for them in their respective comments sections. Follow the picture to find access the blog. As for me, a recent effort gone south has made me reevaluate my plans for the rest of this year. I think that I want to get back in shape by training for another marathon and getting my gills by ge...

In recent news, China and Vietnam entered into what was the most outwardly aggressive tussle in the last 13 years. If you didn't catch it, you can read more  here . I wrote about the conflict between China and its Asian neighbors before, but I wanted to revisit the issue, this time with more of a focus on Vietnam. The situation is a lot less tense now, but feelings are still hot around the city. A Chinese Coast Guard ship using a water cannon to spray a Vietnamese police boat. The Chinese initially denied such actions, but later claimed responsibility.  A Chinese coast guard vessel (R) rams a Vietnamese marine police boat to protect an oil rig China towed into Vietnam's territorial waters in the South China Sea. Credit: Tuoi Tre I took a trip to Mui Ne recently and saw this little guy moored in a marina close by my friend's house. Note the covered machine gun mounted on the bow of the ship. The kids here are exposed to propaganda-like signs regarding...

Because, why not? Enjoy! Shout out to my mom for sending me this picture. This little guy is my spirit animal.  I taught and demonstrated  to one of my adult classes the word, "selfie." I don't know if I should be proud of that. I helped make this! Maybe I should consider another career change. One of my students made this! It's supposed to be a T-Rex. I should add, by the way, that he drew this while blindfolded. Picasso, eat your heart out.

It’s been a long time, I’m sure you’re aware of that. I’d like to say that I’m glad you are well, but I have absolutely no idea how you are. There are few strands between us now. And yet, I can still feel the weight of our friendship, how once we were inseparable, the best of friends. Now that weight is nothing more than a fleeting memory in moments of solitude, but it's one that never stays away for very long. You can’t be forgotten because forgetting you would be like forgetting myself. But then again, maybe this distance is right. Maybe we are better off as far apart as possible. Perhaps we were never meant for each other. We knew it would never work, and we know now that the friendship we had before created a bond that would make slipping back into romance too easy. It would make repeating the same mistakes too likely, repeating the same heartbreak certain. That's something I'm not willing to risk. Breaking my own heart would be my responsibility to bear, but I can...

Today will be the first day in the last 10 months that I will be in HCMC, but not return to my aunt's house. After a crazy last few weeks getting everything sorted, I am now living in my own apartment again, independent, free. I can't say everything was rosy, though. Just a few days ago, I became privy to the knowledge of just how precarious my former living situation was. I suppose all things have their goods and their bads, but I do wish that my departure could have gone somewhat differently. Regardless, I am thankful for what I had. One of my original missions for coming to Vietnam was to learn more about the culture and more about my family. Living at my aunt's house, I got both in spades, and I believe that had I made different decisions earlier on in my stay here, I would be lesser for having done so. It makes me proud to know that after I leave Vietnam, I can confidently say to others that yes, I do indeed have family here. The public government schools are wrap...

The latest interest I've taken in my quest to learn more about my Vietnamese heritage is the game of Chinese chess. It is a bit ironic to look for Vietnamese culture in a game that has the word "Chinese" in its name, but I found that it is only so for the sake of translation. I have taken to this game for a number of reasons. 1. The game has cool historical references that have survived even today. Let's start with the board itself. Unlike a chess board, which is played on the squares, Chinese chess is played on the intersections of lines.  What is most recognizably different from normal chess boards, however, is the large gap in the middle of the board as well as the lines that form an "x" on opposites sides of the board. The square that contains the "x" is known as the "fortress," or 宮(gōng )  in Chinese. The center divider is the river where s ome Chinese words are visible. The words on the left say,  楚河 (chǔ hé ) , mean...