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5 Things I Learned About Teaching English

1. The English language is really complex.

Let's start by saying that command over the use of the language does not confer understanding of why you use it the way you do. The English language, in all its arbitrary rules, made up words, and seemingly random intonation is certainly no exception to this.

This is exactly what I imagine my 3-4 year olds see my classroom as.

Take, for example, the simple, three-letter word, "too." Could you, off the top of your head, accurately concisely explain that word? Could you do it in the kind of language that a foreign national would understand? Can you even think about all the meanings that "too" encapsulates? Look the word up in the dictionary. You'll find a suitable definition, but it too is probably incomplete by leaving out an explanation of how I used "too" in this very sentence. For this you would probably have to spend a few minutes searching for the answer, but therein lies the rub. The word, so unassuming and easily passed over, serves as a complete roadblock when a curious student inevitably asks about what the word means and how to use it.

Not even native speakers can remember to write that comma.

There are also lots of arbitrary rules. Take collocation, for example. Without any real rhyme or reason, collocation tells us that some adjectives are paired with nouns, and they simply must be that way. You might call a computer powerful, but you would never call it strong. Why? Because screw you, that's why. 

OK, there is a limit...

2. Don't go into the industry thinking you'll teach adults. 

The English language market is still going strong today, thanks almost exclusively to strong Western economy and higher education. However, the new trend these days is to expose children to English in the hopes that it will give them an upper hand later in life. While this is a solid theory - practicing anything for 10,000 makes you an expert, according to Malcolm Gladwell - people often make the mistake that early childhood exposure will somehow impart a native accent. Sorry people, a person's accent is formed extremely early and no amount of drilling or practice will get your kid to speak like I do. They might get damn close, though, but that's all I as a teacher can hope to give to my students.

3. Use your TAs. 

These people are life savers. Walking into class, you'll often be inundated with so many things on your mind: "What am I teaching today?" "Am I prepared enough to teach it correctly?" "What are we doing for the next 2 hours?" and so on and so on. TAs help you keep things in order when you're a little crazy.

Don't be fooled, this is exactly the kind of place that has the potential to get crazy.

Take, for instance, the other day when I was teaching a Jumpstart class full of 4-6 year olds. I started them off with some vocab, and to my surprise they took to the new words incredibly well. Proud of my students, I kept playing along with them, thinking that they were just really smart. It wasn't until half way through the class that my TA pointed out I was teaching stuff from the beginning of their last course! I was apparently more than 30 pages behind...

Besides that, TAs are also invaluable in keeping the kids in line. I'm too much of a nice guy to ell at my kids, but man my TAs are damn good at that. Thank god.

In a classroom full of children, this person will save your life.

4. Bring a towel to class. 

It's hot in Vietnam, and teaching kids really must means playing games with them for two hours. Don't be dumb, bring a towel and pump the A/C.

Or risk losing all respect.

5. There's always gonna be that one kid. 

Yeah, you know, the one you want to chuck out of the class everyday. That one kid that makes you hate coming to school. That kid. I've got mine, and it's like pulling teeth when trying to get him to do even the simplest of tasks.


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