Nhớ Nguồn

Three and a half years is a long time where a lot can happen. During that time I made good friends, saw amazing places, ate weird food, and tested the limits of irresponsibility. This post is dedicated to remembering all the important people I had in Vietnam since I arrived in 2013.  Bao If I hadn't been born in the US, I'm pretty sure Bao and I would be blood relatives. Since that fateful day, we've laughed together, we've fought with each other, we've gotten lost in multiple countries, we somehow found our way again. We played board games, ate a $#!%-ton of chicken, burned so much gasoline "seeing how beautiful" Saigon was, seen the top of mountains, suffered terrible running weather, and collected way more free drinks from Bobapop than we should've. And thank God for your family. Their patience and kindness helped make Vietnam my home. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Vietnam would not have been the same if we hadn't...

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life." - Bryan Dyson

After three and a half years, I've finally ended my career here at ILA. In a week's time, I'll be heading home, but before going, a quick look back at the years: I started work at ILA in July 2013. In September, I transferred to a center closer to my house. Little did I know, though, that I would be it's one and only teacher. It wasn't until the following month that I was joined by these wonderful people.  I learned a lot about myself that first year. And despite how crazy things were then (and how crazy I was for blindly jumping into them), I felt then that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  Over the years, people came and went, but a core group of us stuck together.  Eventually I left the center too, but I stayed in Vietnam. Instead of teaching, though, I became an instructional designer and helped pave the way for a radically different way of learning. The work I did was some of the toughest I've done to date. I didn't give up ...

Things I've seen people do when they're stressed: do insane workouts plan vacations to exotic locales get high get hellaciously drunk have someone punch their arm until it's bruised watch hours of YouTube videos lurk Facebook Me? The past year I've wrongly resorted to becoming an angry hermit. But I've recently found a better, healthier outlet:  creating playlists and imagining the perfect time and place to listen to them.

τούτου μὲν τοῦ ἀνθρώπου ἐγὼ σοφώτερός εἰμι· κινδυνεύει μὲν γὰρ ἡμῶν οὐδέτερος οὐδὲν καλὸν κἀγαθὸν εἰδέναι, ἀλλ᾽ οὗτος μὲν οἴεταί τι εἰδέναι οὐκ εἰδώς, ἐγὼ δέ, ὥσπερ οὖν οὐκ οἶδα, οὐδὲ οἴομαι· ἔοικα γοῦν τούτου γε σμικρῷ τινι αὐτῷ τούτῳ σοφώτερος εἶναι, ὅτι ἃ μὴ οἶδα οὐδὲ οἴομαι εἰδέναι.

In this short, but powerful piece , Ms. Guo lays bare what I think many of Cal's graduates struggle with. What have I done with the gift of my education? Have I "paid back" those who helped give me the gift? Have I helped make the world a better place? Do I deserve Berkeley's legacy? I don't think I do yet, but I hope I'm getting there. 

Missing out on events with friends. Working 12 hour days. Waking up early the next day to do it again. Sitting alone in my room, staring at a blank computer screen, wondering if it's all worth it. Do not call me obsessed. I don't work compulsively. Do not be confused as to where my priorities lie. I don't sit at home dreaming of work, I sit at work dreaming of home. Do not call me a workaholic. I am simply working hard. But the things that we grow to love, the things that we are so passionate about that they wake us up in the morning, give us energy, inspire us, fulfill us, is it so wrong to, at times, place them above all else? Do not those things require sacrifice?  Just as we must be willing to sacrifice everything for the people we love, so to must we sacrifice everything for the things that give us a reason for being.